Beaten by the Snapple Beast

I went to buy a Snapple today.

Simple enough.  I put in a dollar into a vending machine somewhere in the backwaters of Muss (don’t ask what I was doing or how I got there, Muss just seems to absorb you).  I pressed “A1” -- Kiwi Strawberry, delish.

Nothing happened.  

I tried A1 again, but to no avail.  I then leaned over and discovered a Snapple from this crazy machine costs $1.25.  No way am I going to pay anything more than a dollar for something that comes out of a vending machine.

I pressed the coin return lever and to my surprise a shiny Sacagawea dollar tinkled out.  

“No, effin way,” I thought.

I then proceeded to find another dollar bill to exchange in the machine for a dollar coin.  The machine was on to me though, as this time four quarters crashed into the coin return slot instead.

I kicked the machine.

I fingered through the dollars to make sure I had picked up all four, when I noticed one of them wasn’t a quarter at all.  At least it wasn’t an American quarter.  The damn thing gave me a Canadian quarter.  

I kicked the machine again.

Instead of having a few of those neat golden coins in my pocket, I was now out less than the two dollars I had initially invested.  This due to the lesser value of Canada’s useless currency.  

As I retold this tale to a buddy of mine, he pointed out the lesson one can learn from such an experience:

“The Snapple machine takes Canadian money.”

If I could safely navigate through the labyrinthine halls of Muss, I would tell you where this Snapple Machine lies.  We could go forth and slay the overcharging beast with our crappy Canada money, and reap the rewards of cheaper drinks.  

Alas, these rewards do not merit the risk of eternal wandering in the maze that is Muss.


tani said...

Dear Gurnge,
I wouldn't press your luck, i once got canadian coins from a machine too, but when i tried to use said coins on the very same machine, it was a no go. You should have skipped town with that shiny dollar coin, which is a huge score by the way. I liked this blog entry, keep up the good work!

Sammy C. said...

This journal entry was pretty delicious, but what is so drawing about muss? That place is the most titalizing place at Yu but what the hell goes on their? I love you guys.

jeremiah said...

i would just like to post that this read is amazing and hilarious it also takes me on a whirlwind of emotion and exitement. Keep up the good work Al

josh becker said...

"whirlwind of emotion and excitement"?? man, you got issues.
Dont get me wrong- the blog is alrite. But, i mean, it is a mere snapple machine story. Surely your emotional compass has not been altered too dramatically by such trivial speculations.